I think I died a long time ago.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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