sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
