Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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