just tell him i said nine months
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
