she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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