i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
