i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
