I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
