I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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