Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have aggressive nipples.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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