"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Randomize
