Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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