nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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