I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
