Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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