best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
