So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The adults are the big ones right?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
