ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
