that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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