the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
