My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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