love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
