So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
