She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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