how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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