I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
