so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
