I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
