I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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