Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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