she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
