ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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