yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
