He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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