I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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