I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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