Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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