Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
