she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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