Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize