Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
its not stalking. its research.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
