god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
