Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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