I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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