Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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