all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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