i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
