I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
