evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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