this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
areolas are like halos for boobs.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
