Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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