Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
