Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
There's a naked man in my car right now.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
