so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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