Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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