the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
